Tomorrow is the day when we find out if I am pregnant. I will go in tomorrow morning for the quantitive blood test. Its hard to say how I feel. I am nervous and anxious.
Having my own little girl is something that I have wanted for so long. I was the little girl that loved baby dolls, I am the woman who loves seeing little girls with their moms at nail salons and loves all things girl. I love getting my nails done and dressing up. I love accessories and shopping. Every time I am at the mall and see the little girls section, I long to be able to shop there for my own daughter one day. I am dying to have sweet little girl birthday parties and sleepovers with makeovers.... I was meant to have a little girl. I love being a mom to my son, Trey, but I ache for a baby girl. Having her would fill a missing space in my heart.
I know that God has a plan and that it is important to have faith. I know all of this, but I feel like I have been waiting my whole life for this moment. I am SO close. I can see the finish line. I feel like the timing has never been more perfect. A few years ago, Nik would have never agreed to us having another child. He is even excited. I have prayed for so many years for God to open his heart to us having another baby. I remember him reading about "gender selection" so many years ago and thought that was so amazing but not something that we would ever be able to do. When I was in the operating room and Dr. Pablo implanted my embryo, Ava, I cried as if I just heard her heartbeat.
As I sit here now writing all of this, I have tears streaming down my cheeks. I pray that God will give us positive news tomorrow and we will be one step closer to completing our family. Please remember me tomorrow and pray like you've never prayed before.
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